


Goodbyes & Hellos

by starryeyedboxes



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 04:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11410182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedboxes/pseuds/starryeyedboxes
Summary: Mark breaks Jack's heart and Jack doesn't know how to handle it.





	Goodbyes & Hellos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GalaxyGhosty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGhosty/gifts).
  * Inspired by [When in Ireland](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10949829) by [GalaxyGhosty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGhosty/pseuds/GalaxyGhosty). 



> Hello, friends. It's been a while.
> 
> This was inspired by GG's When in Ireland. She wrote about a topic dear to her, and it inspired me to do the same. 
> 
> So thank you, GG.
> 
> Also, everyone please read the notes at the end if you're curious as to why this was written.

Jack’s chest ached with a sorrow so profound and so deep that it actually felt like it was on fire. It was as if his whole being was lit aflame and his lungs were desperately searching for air-- _breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out._

He couldn't fathom just how low he felt. It felt like he had hit rock bottom and was suffocating on the dust below. It felt like darkness was surrounding him, growing larger and larger, tying to envelop everything in shadow. It felt like he was on his last breath, and he was fading in and out. It felt like his world was collapsing. It felt like --

“I just didn't know what to do.”

Jack looked up at Mark, his boyfriend of a few years. Mark’s eyes were glossy, avoiding, darting. Jack’s fists were closed tight, his jaw clenched, his heart broken.

The betrayal Jack felt was surreal. He had never been hurt so badly before, and to be hurt by the love of his life was something he had not once expected. But here he was, biting his tongue, trying to breathe, trying not to explode in anger. He could barely hear anything, his eyes fixated in disbelief at Mark.

Mark was genuinely guilty, it was easy to tell. But to Jack, guilt was no redemption. What Mark had done, what the person he believed would never hurt him had done, was an utter jab towards his breaking heart.

“You didn't know what to do?” Jack questioned, his tone harsh, but his volume nothing above a whisper. “It was your job to protect me. You were supposed to have my back, but you, you, _you--”_

“I'm sorry,” Mark said in a single breath. It was hard to tell if he was being sincere and just felt so remorseful, or if he was already tired of the subject. It was hard to tell with Mark. Mark had the tendency to shut down due to Jack’s occasional fiery temper. “I just wanted it all to end. I was trying to stop everything! She wasn't making any sense, and I didn't know what to do.”

Jack had barely heard a word. He could practically feel his heartbeat in his throat. 

_Mark was supposed to protect me._

_Why?_

_Why would he allow that to happen?_

Jack’s head was spinning and it felt like he was facing a stranger. When he looked at Mark, thought of his actions, and thought about how broken he felt inside as a consequence, the whole world seemed to stand still. 

He wasn't sure what to do, or even what to say. What was there to even talk about? 

And Mark didn't protect him. Mark let it happen.

Jack was seen as nothing.

And Mark never stood up for him.

_So, he must think I'm nothing too._

“I'm going home,” Jack finally said after minutes of silence. Mark froze. “I'm moving back home. I'm taking my things now, and I'm going home.”

“Wait, Jack, no--”

“No.” Jack’s voice was rough. He could barely breathe and with trembling fingers, slowly began to gather his things.

He fumbled for his phone and dialed Felix, his best friend. Felix would come with his truck and help him pack his things. Jack could barely talk.

Everything hurt.

He felt like nothing.

And Mark never objected. Mark never tried stopping him again. Mark helped him pile his things by the door, helped him bring out some of the furniture Jack had purchased.

It all happened so fast. It was as if time had no meaning. Jack’s heart was honestly breaking further and further and it was breaking in front of the love of his life. 

But Jack didn't know what to do-- how was this supposed to be fixed? Should he really be leaving? Was this the right choice? Does this mean that they were broken up now? Does moving out equate to breaking up the relationship he had worked so hard for? Was there any going back right now? Was this a mistake? Should Jack have done--

“Hey, man, are you alright?” Felix had come and was helping pull things into the bed of his truck. Jack had barely heard him. He was too busy trying to hold himself together. “You look like shit.”

Jack normally would've smiled at his friend’s joke, but right now was not the time. “No, I'm not fine.”

Felix had begun asking what had happened between Mark and him but Jack had already began walking back into the house to grab some more of his things. Each time he passed Mark who was standing there on his phone, a part of Jack grew to hate him. It was small at first, so very tiny. But that part of him grew so hungry, so willing to fuel the fire that Jack wanted Mark to say something to him so he could lash out. 

Mark should be hurt the way Jack was hurting.

It was only fair.

All actions have consequences. 

That's how it should always be.

And that's what happened. Whenever Mark had asked him a question, Jack had replied with a loud retort. It felt like gasoline was in his throat.

_“Do you need help, Jack? I can help…”_

_“I think you've done enough._

_“I’m so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen…”_

_“You’re not sorry. If you were, you would've acted differently, so stop spewing your lies.”_

_“Jack… I'm… so sorry…”_

_“Stop talking to me. I don't know why you're even talking to me.”_

When everything had finished being loaded, Jack huffed to himself before facing the love of his life. His body felt like lead and it hurt. _Oh, man_ did everything hurt. 

Felix was patiently waiting outside, his truck turned back on, headlights lit up, engine roaring. Jack silently thanked his best friend for doing everything right tonight. Unlike Mark, whose guilty expression and stiff posture was enough to drive the final stake into Jack’s heart. 

They said their quick goodbyes. Nothing romantic. Nothing loving, but nothing hateful. It was short. Too short.

And as Jack heard his own footsteps down the driveway, he gave a thumbs up towards Felix who then shifted his car into drive and took off. Jack would meet him there at his house. 

Jack sat in his car, also filled to the roof with just haphazardly placed belongings. It was him, his clouded mind, and his broken heart.

As he drove down the road, he left the radio off. The only sound was the sound of his car and the other vehicles on the freeway. California never failed to have busy traffic even in the middle of the night. It was oddly comforting knowing that there were others around him. They were strangers, and sure, they didn't know him nor did they know that his car was filled with sorrow and despair, but that was the best part. Just a bunch of strangers who couldn't talk to him, who he didn't have to interact with. Strangers who could never hurt him. 

And just like that, Jack’s vision blurred and in a blink, warm tears were streaming down his cheeks and onto his lap. All night he had held it together. All night he kept himself in check. And now that he was alone, he couldn't help but cry, his heart desperate to relieve itself of the sadness built up inside of it. He cried and cried as he drove, the city lights following him as he passed. 

It was freeing. He felt free.

Felix was very kind and had already set up the guest bedroom for him, and Marzia offered a listening ear the moment she saw Jack pull up with puffy eyes and a tear-soaked shirt. As he cried some more and explained what happened, and as Marzia and Felix expressed how shocked they were with Mark, Jack felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. 

He went to bed early that night. The lights were turned off and he refused to do anything other than just cry and listen to Felix and Marzia turn in for the night as well. It was wonderful knowing that he had amazing people to fall back on. They had parked his car, along with Felix’s in the garage since Jack did not feel like unpacking his things tonight. Everything was still left in their cars, and he was thankful. It was a breath of fresh air being in a room that contained nothing of his.

He rolled over in his bed, his body aching and his eyes sore from all the tears. He reached over and tried grasping ahead but was honestly surprised when there was nothing there. Why had he done that? He knew nothing was there, but why would he reach out?

Mark.

Then the thoughts bombarded him at an alarming rate. 

_Was this a mistake?_

_Did I overreact?_

_Am I being irrational?_

_I can't be. Marzia and Felix both told me that I was right._

_But are they right?_

_Am I right?_

_Does right and wrong even matter?_

_I miss him._

_Where is he?_

_Is there a chance of recovering from this?_

_Do I want to recover from this?_

_Should I call him?_

Jack fumbled for his phone that was in his pocket. When the screen flashed awake when he unlocked it, he saw that he had no missed calls or text messages. No one had contacted him. 

He wasn't sure what he was expecting. But it wasn't this.

A couple of hours passed as he tossed and turned, sometimes getting up to walk around the bottom floor of the house for a while before returning to the guest bedroom. He wrapped a blanket around himself, fluffed some pillows, and got up to remake the bed a few times.

Unsurprisingly, he couldn't sleep. 

He turned his phone on once more and before he could possibly change his mind, his fingers flew across the screen, pressing the familiar string of numbers he always called.

It rang.

And rang.

And _finally_ , “Hey.” The voice was quiet, husky. Also tired.

“Hey,” Jack breathed. “Hi, Mark.”

“Hi, Jack.”

**Author's Note:**

> I chose to leave the reason and information surrounding Mark's betrayal ambiguous. I wanted to focus on Jack's side of things because he was so clouded by hurt and sorrow that he couldn't see anything else outside of that. He could only see that it was Mark's fault. Mark did this. Mark deserved to be hurt back. There was only ever black or white, there is no grey area where they both might be wrong. He solely blamed Mark for everything during their fight. 
> 
> And another reason that I wanted to provide as little information as possible was because I didn't want people picking sides. Was Mark's betrayal truly that horrible and Jack is being foolish for trying to amend things? Or was what Mark did actually small in the grand scheme of things and Jack realized he was overreacting and called to apologize? It's for you as the reader to decide. 
> 
> Jack's black and white logic is exemplified by him seeking out approval from Felix and Marzia. When they agree with his side (did they agree because Mark was actually wrong or because Jack was a wreck and just needed someone to cry to?), Jack feels a weight lift off of his shoulders, like he needed someone else to say who was wrong and who was right.
> 
> Thank you, GG for inspiring me to incorporate parts of myself that I was way too fearful to expose. I have a very strong black and white sense of logic and it's something I never liked to talk about because I know it isn't always right. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. And thank you for inspiring me to do so.
> 
> Thank you, everyone, who read this little section of notes. It means a lot. And thank you for reading.


End file.
